I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
