It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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