But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
