are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
