Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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