Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
