Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I would ride that face into the sunset
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
