Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
