Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
