Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize