It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
not ubering you a puppy
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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