I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
