Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
