i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
