I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
