Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize