I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
