Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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