I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
ugly people sure do ruin things
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I didn't notice because vodka
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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