sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
