All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
