my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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