Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize