now i know why i became what i already was.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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