Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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