He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
