before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This baby is an asshole
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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