So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
