when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize