Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
