they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Brb crying the tears of my youth
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
