We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
