After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I love having hate sex.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize