your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
