Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
