he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
