god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
