no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
