so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
