Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
