Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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