so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
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I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
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There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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