im gay
i know
yea but for you.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize