Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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