whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
