I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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