no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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