He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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