I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
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it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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