were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
