He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
