You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
