fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
