I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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