Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
