you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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