is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
