Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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