I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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