worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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