so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
