Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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