I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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