I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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