I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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